Thursday, January 06, 2005
$.urv!v!n.g
1st week ... and school is already suffocating me with all the school work ... i will survive ... i will ... i hope ... at least it wasn't that bad as i imagined it to be ... i can still survive this year though it's worst than last year ... i can survive school ... but i can't survive each day ... each day without spending time with my mom ... my dad ... everyone ... they all seem so distant ... and i ? ... all alone in the solitude...my eyes are teary everyday ... i feel so empty everyday ... there's something missing in my daily life ...
everyone is busy with things ... there's no time ... no time to bond with each other ... no time for sleep ... no time ... i feel caught in a ruthless circle of homework and test ... there's no way i can escape ... there's no way i can do anything until the circle is broken ... or ... i've completed going round the circle ... my appetite is getting worse ... i have no interest in eating ... i have no mood to eat ... i have no mood to even really enjoy myself because of all the expectations i have to fulfil ... it hurts mentally and physically ...it's exhausting ...
GOD ... He is somehow still there ... He always somehow make things better ... grants me the strength to carry on each day ... to actually survive each day ... to actually feel peaceful and calm amidst the outpour of schoolwork ... the unexpected ... unprepared ... test ... that springs up one after the other like a jack in a box ... all coming to devour you ... into the unknown abyss ... of homework ... test ... exams ... that brings about the mental strain ... stress ... He's always there ... to comfort me when i can't take all of this anymore ... when tears swell in my eyes ... telling even to the unknown ... insignificant things ... that ... people all take for granted .... that ... is always to reming of God's neverending ... unfailing ... love that falls from the sky ... like the countless rain drops ... that is refreshing and new ... that cleanses ...
i will survive ... for God is with me ...
posted at 1/06/2005 06:19:00 pm
